Ten Things I Learned from Snow White

8th February, 2011 - Posted by DisAnim - Comments Off on Ten Things I Learned from Snow White

If you speak in rhyme, animals can understand you.

  1. Don’t let salespeople in your home—especially if they’re selling apples.
  2. If somebody is better looking than you, get over it. If you try to kill her, you’ll probably end up dead.
  3. Dwarves who are grumpy have larger noses than those who are happy.
  4. You can tell a jewel’s worth by how it sounds when you hit it with a hammer.
  5. If you want to eliminate someone, don’t kill them in a way that can be reversible (such as a magic apple).
  6. If you want to be fairer than someone else, try turning yourself into something beautiful rather than a hag.
  7. If you speak in rhyme, animals can understand you.
  8. If you have magical powers, don’t rely on trying to push a large boulder on angry dwarves who are chasing you to get rid of them. Shoot fireballs or something.
  9. If your stepmother keeps you locked in a castle wearing rags and doing chores, and suddenly she allows you to go pick wildflowers in a fashionable dress, it’s probably a sign that she intends to have you killed.
  10. If you come upon a beautiful dead maiden, kiss her. At worst, there’s no resistance. At best, she might come back alive and marry you.

What did you learn from Snow White?


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